I am the Ice Cream.


ImageI am the elusive ice cream.

I am the third peg in this triad.

I am the more elusive one. Writing and I don’t always get along. Writer’s block has been hitting me hard due to all the chaos going on around me.

Most that care and know me; know me as Aamrie or EOA.

I guess I should start with alittle history about me. I am 43 years old with a grown son.  I was in a relationship with a guy for twelve years. We are still somewhat friends but there are still trust issues there.

Our issues started when I began playing StarPirates.  It was like a whole new world of people who had similar interests like me.  I ran into the wrong crowd and ended up getting used and hurt.  But during this time, I met Jazz as well.  We began talking; I had tons of questions. So along the way, I have been learning and getting into tons of trouble…lol

I have met many people who have impacted my learning along the way. Some for the better but it was usually more for the worse.  Right now, I have a close knit group of five who are very protective of me and my well being…and I feel very safe and secure.

As most by now have read the other posts, I will skip repeating that.  Cat and Jazz pretty much has nailed everything on the head; and they are prettier writers than me.

I will elaborate on the distance part.

Recently I have moved out on my own, and my son chose to stay with the ex-boyfriend. He is grown; his decision.  This leaves me living by myself and in a town where I know very few people. I am a creature who needs and craves attention; good or bad. I need to feel wanted. So I am sure you can see my situation now.

Usually, I spend a lot of time online so I can stay connected to the ones closes to me; but as fate would have it, my internet has been on the fritz for the last couple of weeks. So during the holidays, I was pretty much alone.

We almost had a slim chance of me being able to visit but that fell through. Lack of Money.  The Bane of poor people everywhere.

So for me, my life revolves around going to work and coming home.  I have the few days that I drive over and see son, run a few errands, etc. But for the most part, I am alone.

Cat and Jazz stay in contact through gchat and IMs but it’s not the same.  It’s not a hug, a cuddle, a gentle stroke or a good night kiss.  It’s crawling into a cold, lonely bed and cuddling with the pillow.

Christmas time was the worse. It’s supposed to be a time to spend with family and friends; but it felt like I was the least wanted by everyone. Everyone had something to do; or other commitments were I didn’t fit into the equation.  With plenty of time alone, it leads to much dark thoughts.  Luckily, I did nothing crazy. I kept everything together; and made it through intact.

So I live for the time we do get together.  I live for that attention. It usually has to last me for a few months at a time. So I crave and take as much as I can get.

Hopefully, this will be the year that I get to move northward; and distance won’t be an issue for us.

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4 thoughts on “I am the Ice Cream.

  1. I too live for the touch, the cuddle, and the caress of my lover/s. May your reserve tanks last enough to get you to your next refill, and may Jazz and Cat give you the absolute best of refills. Until then and afterward I hope we see more of your posts; your first was a delight to read. Thank you for sharing it with us.

    Stay SINful
    Mr. AP

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