Clueing in poly newbies about solo poly people

Another outstanding blog we read…


I regularly attend the weekly meetups of my local poly community. Here, the first meetup of the month is always “newbie night” — where priority in the discussion is given to questions and topics raised by people new to or curious about polyamory.

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Answers to (burning?) questions…

And more questions, (and their answers) from another Fellow Traveller.

The Rhetoric and Composition of Polyamory

If you follow this blog, chances are, you still have some questions about polyamory. Maybe you even have bunches of questions. Consider this post my attempt to answer some of those.

What kinds of people are “polyamorous”?

Maybe your neighbor is, or your teacher, or your best friend. Sometimes poly people don’t have big mouths, so it’s hard to know. But, generally speaking, poly people come from all backgrounds. There are, however, a high number who have advanced degrees, work as computer and health care professionals, are science fiction fans, pagans, gay men/women, transgender/transsexuals, and bisexuals (this understanding comes from my general reading on the topic). It seems like lots of folks in the kink/bdsm scene are poly, too.

Isn’t “poly” just another word for swinging?

Nope! Swingers are relatively more common than polyamorous people.  Yes, they practice a form of non-monogamy, as does polyamorists; however, swingers’ foci are more…

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Another fellow traveller discussing “their” polyamory.  It’s refreshing to see so many different takes, and all of them equally valid.

As with any fairly smallish group, when it comes to polyamory bizarre stereotypes abound. While I could (and probably will, with with BloggyWriMo/NaBloPoMo) expound on many of them, today I’m gonna stick with one: the idea that poly people are all massively extroverted social butterflies. I can see where this one came from. After all, the whole idea of polyamory is that you’re up for having more than one partner. It’s not a vast jump from “likes to have more partners than I do” to “likes spending a whole lot of time with lots of different people”. And while plenty poly people are like that, there’s also a lot of us for whom that isn’t true. So from one somewhat-introverted poly person to you lot, here’s why it works for me.

Smaller, closer groups

….the rest is at the Tea Cosy’s new home. Pop over!

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